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Get in Touch With Thine Own Self
| Article
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18028 |
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Section : |
LIFE
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| Issue
Date : |
5 / 1990 |
1,249 Words |
| Author
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K.N. Nance
K.N. Nance is a humor writer who lives in Marion, Arkansas. |
"Don't you think that you've reached the stage of life when you should get in touch with your inner feelings and find yourself?"
When my wife asked me this, I was sitting in our den watching a football game on television, listening to Strauss waltzes on my CD, and reading a biography of Alexander Hamilton. Reluctantly, I detached myself from these engrossing pursuits.
"I wasn't aware that I had lost myself."
"Haven't you ever considered the joys of self-exploration?"
"Not in ages."
Frowning at me, she pointedly ignored this bit of lefty. "Well, I've signed us up for some Golden Years Education courses at the Community Center. Yours is called "Storming the Barriers of the Mind.'"
Storming the barriers of my mind wasn't something that topped my list of priorities. If barriers were there, I figured they undoubtedly served a practical purpose, and I had every intention of leaving them intact. I made this clear to her in no uncertain terms.
"You're very negative," she snapped in return. "It's probably because of the barriers."
The course of study she chose for herself was "The Use of Astrology in Today's World." I tried to point out that Napoleon relied on that sort of thing and look what happened to him, but this didn't dampen her determination enrich her golden years with astrological knowledge. Her charts revealed that our signs are totally incompatible, which came as a surprise to both of us. Here we thought we had been living in a state of matrimonial bliss for forty years.
Subleasing Myself
Since she had no luck interesting me in the joys of finding my lost self, she enlisted the help of our two daughters. The older one took me on first.
"Daddy, our 'Adventures in Life' group will be discussing the problems of channeling tomorrow night, and we'd like you to meet with us and give us some of your
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